BashMD.org - citate amuzante ale online-ului moldav :)

[17/09/22:06] <@Becushor> pupma od ata
[17/09/22:07] <@Becushor> odata
[17/09/22:07] <@Becushor> sh o sa fie batz
[17/09/22:07] <@Becushor> +)
[17/09/22:07] <@Sya-> :))
[17/09/22:07] <@Sya-> batz :)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
[17/09/22:07] <@Becushor> precis
[17/09/22:07] <@Becushor> +)))
[17/09/22:07] <@Sya-> da si asa nui batz??
[17/09/22:07] <@Becushor> ne .. ii moale
[17/09/22:07] <@Sya-> de la o singura vorba treb sa fie batz :)
[17/09/22:07] <@Becushor> +))))))))))))))))
[17/09/22:07] <@Becushor> da

17.09.2007 11:51:22, om_nebun
Ip: 192.168.0.2
Mask: 255.255.255.0
Gateway: 192.168.0.1

17.09.2007 11:52:08, verme
si gata?

17.09.2007 11:52:25, verme
da nu treba vrio proga seva.....?

17.09.2007 11:52:46, om_nebun
trebu

17.09.2007 11:52:57, verme
da cum se num?

17.09.2007 11:53:16, om_nebun
proga: mozg.exe v.1.0
si driver:
priamie_ruki.dll

17.09.2007 11:55:00, verme
da si de unde so iau?

[15:05] <IuL\\cK> ursuletze -> fa o laba :))
[15:05] * vano- sets mode: +b *!*Iulian@Walker16.users.undernet.org
[15:05] * IuL\\cK was kicked by vano- (Unallowed word/phrase/bad word/te invit pe status)
[15:05] <Urs> :-<
[15:05] <Urs> daps.
[15:05] <Urs> exact asta faceam.

[12:21] <Viteok_Loh> !ping
[12:21] * Joins: _hazard33 (~nick@86.120.224.60)
[12:22] * Joins: _anusca_ (~Serii@host-89-41-90-169.moldtelecom.md)
[12:22] <Viteok_Loh> !dowland
[12:22] * Joins: Spaniol48 (~neibat@201.240.126.133)
[12:22] <Viteok_Loh> !version
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[12:22] <Urs> !banmask *loh*!*@* Schimba-ti nickul si revino.
[12:22] * Ulma sets mode: +b *loh*!*@*
[12:22] * Viteok_Loh was kicked by Ulma (Banned: Schimba-ti nickul si revino.)

Ion si Culai erau in vorbe cu doua bune prietene,Maria si Tanta.
-Tanto,fa,ce blugi frumosi ai?!
-Imi place sa umblu in blugi,ma,Culai!
-Daa...!Atunci umbla si in ai mei,te rog frumos!

Intr-un compartiment de tren calatoresc 4 indivizi: un american, un ardelean, un moldovean si-un bucurestean.
La un moment dat, americanu' scoate un pachet neanceput de Marlboro din buzunar, isi aprinde o tigara si arunca restul pachetului pe geam. Toti ceilalti sar sa-l prinda; cum nu reusesc, incep sa-l certe pe american:
- Pai, bine dom'le arunci bunatate de tigari!...
- Eh, zice americanul, la noi tigari dintr-astea sunt pe toate drumurile.
Dupa un timp, ardeleanul scoate din traista o butelca de palinca, trage o dusca sanatoasa si arunca pe geam ce mai ramane in ea. La fel, sar toti ceilalti cu gura pe el:
- Arunci bunatate de bautura pe geam!...
- Eh, vine raspunsul, la noi gasesti dintr-asta pe toate drumurile.
Mai trece un timp si bucuresteanu' il apuca pe moldovean de guler si, desi cel din urma se zbate, il arunca pe fereastra.
- NENOROCITULE! striga ceilalti. AI OMORAT OMU'!!!
- Eh, zice bucuresteanul asezandu-se la loc, dintr-astia sunt pe toate drumurile.

Trei moldoveni la oras se intilnesc dupa o perioada de timp ptr.a-si impartasi experientele
M1:Ce bine era la tara,ma!Pe jos scandurile erau drepte si puteam linistit sa merg dintr-un cap' in altul al camerei.Aici la oras ametesc sa tot urmaresc sipcilel alea mici de pe jos
M2:In fiecare seara cand vin acasa trebuie sa scol din somn trei vecini pentru ca pe lift scrie "Numai pentru patru persoane!"
M3:Eu sunt cel mai napastuit.De fiecare data cand mi se facea sete acasa ma duceam la cismea si beam dupa pofta.Acum ma duc,trag de funie si pana sa pun gura la apa sa si termina si trebuie sa astept iar sa se umple galeata,iar trag de funie,dar tot asa patesc!
CONCLUZIE:NUMAI MOLDOVEAN LA ORAS SA NU FII!!!!HA

[05:33:47] <zippo> mai ai sa vb cu botu ma ?
[05:34:23] <dan19i> e prost
[05:34:47] <dan19i> sal invatz minte.

[18:12:38] <********> Lia}{ cum o mai ei? ;-))
[18:13:01] <Lia}{> supeeeeeer!!

}16:06{ <vicaa> work`kiwi
}16:06{ <work`kiwi> ?
}16:06{ <vicaa> salut sunt veriosara lui vova
}16:06{ <vicaa> ma tii minte ?
}16:07{ <work`kiwi> nu
}16:07{ <vicaa> cum nu
}16:07{ <vicaa> dani numarul tau se te sunt
}16:08{ <work`kiwi> pt?
}16:09{ <vicaa> vova are probleme
}16:09{ <vicaa> s-a intimplat cu el un accedinet
}16:09{ <work`kiwi> ?
}16:10{ <vicaa> el sta acasa cu picioarele rupte
}16:10{ <work`kiwi> dumnezeu sa-l ierte...

- Jora, cumpãrã-ti un slip de baie mai mare! Toatã scula ti-e pe-afarã...
Bãrbatul replicã jignit:
- Toatã? Jumãtate faw!

minel_ungureanu: tocmai a venit tata beat sa se laude cu noua lui caciula din blana de epure
minel_ungureanu: ce looser
DuLceaTsIKa: :)

O tanãrã se plange de o slãbiciune permanentã resimtitã de un an incoace.
- Serviciul vã solicitã prea mult? Intreabã medicul.
- Nu, am un serviciu usor.
- Atunci vã obosesc copiii?
- Nu, n-am copii.
- Hmm... Cat de des faceti sex?
- De trei ori pe zi.
- Atunci acesta-i motivul oboselii dumneavoastrã permanente. Vã sfãtuiesc ca, mãcar duminica sã luati o pauzã.
- Nu pot, domnule doctor. Duminica vine acasã sotul meu:))

- Tatã, ne poti ?Imprumuti masina ta, mie si prietenului meu?
- Nu mai am deloc benzinã ?In rezervor, draga mea.
- Nici o problemã, oricum nu intentionãm sã iesim din garaj cu ea.

Unde au femeile parul negru si cret?
Raspuns: in africa.
:))))))))))

A.
De cate ori roseste o femeie in viata?
De 5 ori in mod vizibil si anume:
1- prima data cand nu mai este fata
2- a doua oara cand isi inseala ptr.prima data barbatul
3- a teia oara cand primeste ptr.prima data bani(se stie ptr.ce)
4- a patra oara cand da ptr.prima data bani(se stie ptr.ce)
5- a cincea oara cand ramane cu banii in mana(se stie ptr.ce)

B. - De cate ori roseste un barbat in viata?
De 2 ori (pe ascuns) si anume:
1- prima data cand nu mai poate a doua oara
2- a doua oara cand nu mai poate prima data

In viata niciodata sa nu-ti para rau de ce ai facut, numai de ce nu ai facut!

Inainte de casatorie:
EA: Poate ar trebui sa plec?
EL: Nu, nici sa nu te gindesti!
EA: Ma iubesti?
EL: Sigur!
EA: M-ai inselat vreodata?
EL: Nu, cum de ti-a venit asa ceva prin minte?
EA: Ma vei saruta?
EL: Da, sigur!
EA: Ma vei bate?
EL: Nici intr-un caz!
EA: Pot sa te cred? :P
Dupa casatorie: cititi de jos in sus !!!

- Aicea-i gurita aia scumpa, rosie...
Aici sînii aceia ca doua mere sanatoase...
Burtica asta plata ca si Cîmpia Moldovei...
Buricul asta rotund si frumos... Aicea-s...
- lonele! Ne-o tragem sau facem inventar? :D

*********** nu va ganditi la prostii ***********
[20:51] <Buric-> Urs thx florishiko
[20:51] <Buric-> :)
[20:51] * X sets mode: +l 181
[20:51] <Buric-> }{
[20:51] <@Urs> e la a doua abatere deja.
[20:51] * Quits: |_DiMaX_| (~S@host-86-106-231-77.moldtelecom.md) (Ping timeout)
[20:51] <Buric-> esti o dulceatza :D
[20:51] <@Urs> nici o problema scumpete mica }{

<+Lia}{> Buric- ...ple
<+Lia}{> iar incepi ?
<Buric-> nu
<Buric-> termin
<Buric-> cand ma uit la voi
<Buric-> :))))))))

<@Sashka89> IuLicK itzi dau 72 ore la dispoz , sa spargi mirc.md daca il spargi itzi fac monument linga stefan



Hackerii de la moldova :))))))))))

In chat - 862 oameni.
xxx - Cine vre sa fie moderator sa apese Alt+F4
211 o plecat...

[15:20] <It`s_Fear> noroc
[15:20] <It`s_Fear> frumos nick ai =)
[15:20] <[lamer]> stiu
[15:20] <It`s_Fear> di ce asa nik?
[15:21] <[lamer]> asa trebuie
[15:21] <It`s_Fear> ca ejti Lamer?
[15:21] <[lamer]> da
[15:21] <It`s_Fear> ok :)

************************
[nick]14 [lamer] [real name]14 Aish
[address]14 ~Aish@host-86-106-226-23.moldtelecom.md
[channels]14 #chisinau #cahul
[server]14 *.undernet.org [network]14 The Undernet Underworld
[idle]14 49secs [signed on @]14 09/12/07 4:15p

[10/09/13:58] <Buric`> +))
[10/09/13:59] <PuShiST^i> *** variante de aestea ***
[10/09/13:59] <PuShiST^i> shi parca nu shtii
[10/09/14:00] <PuShiST^i> ladna
[10/09/14:00] <PuShiST^i> eu mu
[10/09/14:00] <PuShiST^i> :)
[10/09/14:01] <Buric`> tu MU ? da eu jtiem ca tu MU
[10/09/14:01] <Buric`> +)))))))

«00:30:19 » <PrAsLy> ma lasat prietena
«00:30:24 » <PrAsLy> ce pot face?
«00:31:05 » <Zaikaaaa> sa kontinui totul inainte
«00:31:11 » <Zaikaaaa> viatsa mere inainte
«00:31:43 » <PrAsLy> dar daca nu mai pot fara ea?
«00:31:48 » <PrAsLy> ce sa fac?
«00:32:01 » <PrAsLy> cum s-o inlocuesc?
«00:33:43 » <Zaikaaaa> ku mina dreaspta
«00:33:46 » <Zaikaaaa> sau ku stinga
«00:33:47 » <Zaikaaaa> tot merge
«00:33:50 » <Zaikaaaa> ;)

}11:53{ <IuLicK> Aristocrat -> buna shefu :)
}11:53{ * +Aristocrat slaps IuLicK around a bit with a large trout
}11:53{ * IuLicK dodges Aristocrat's attack and slaps back! [1/148]
}11:53{ * Joins: alerym (~mihaileu@89.39.254.68)
}11:53{ * Joins: nana11 (laurita@85.120.234.190)
}11:53{ <+Aristocrat> script de lameroid:))))norok
}11:53{ * Quits: alerym (~mihaileu@89.39.254.68) (Quit)
}11:53{ * X sets mode: +l 128
}11:53{ <IuLicK> :))
}11:54{ <IuLicK> Aristocrat -> nui script e addon :) lam0 si esti tu
}11:54{ * [N3bunat1k] is now known as N3bunat1kBNC
}11:54{ * Quits: angel_style (kyti@host-86-106-240-27.moldtelecom.md) (Quit)
}11:54{ * +N3bunat1kBNC Offfline
}11:54{ * IuLicK is now known as lameroid

[10:40] <Its`The`Fear> [10:39] * Joins: Likeable (Likeable@nu.ma.suparati.ca.fac.net-split.com)
[10:40] <Its`The`Fear> =))
[10:40] <@^DuLceaTsIKa> :))
[10:40] <Its`The`Fear> Lamer[10:40] <Its`The`Fear> :))
[10:40] <Likeable> yes
[10:40] <Likeable> :))

}15:45{ <DJOKER> ZACEM LIUBITI, ZACEM STRADATI,VEDI VSE PUTI VEDUT B KRAVATI
}15:45{ * DJOKER was kicked by |Eurotel (excess caps ·1235·)
}15:45{ * Joins: DJOKER (~sergiuiva@host-89-41-76-120.moldtelecom.md)
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}15:45{ * Joins: DJOKER (~sergiuiva@host-89-41-76-120.moldtelecom.md)
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:)

[06/09/13:20] <ApXaHgheJI> MD-Boy yo man =)
[06/09/13:20] <ApXaHgheJI> cum merge ?
[06/09/13:25] <MD-Boy> ApXaHgheJI noroc
[06/09/13:26] <MD-Boy> daca impingi merge :-)
[06/09/13:27] <ApXaHgheJI> in ce sens impinge ?
[06/09/13:28] <Buric`> lul
[06/09/13:28] <Buric`> +))))))))))))

«16:04:15 » <SuMaheR> datu esti mai prost ca mine mai

[21:17] <cicu> de unde esti
[21:17] <The`Fear> Chisinau
[21:17] <cicu> k
[21:18] <cicu> di undi
[21:18] <cicu> ./
[21:18] <The`Fear> Botanica
[21:18] <cicu> k
[21:19] <cicu> eu albisoara
[21:19] <The`Fear> =)
[21:19] <The`Fear> sub pod?
[21:19] <The`Fear> =)

<Das-> smft`ncapului
<Das-> tre sa rupem...
<Das-> da`ldrek ca vb eu cuj el

}14:54{ <DumiX_Nebunu> bha care este evreu aici?
}14:54{ * X sets mode: +l 125
}14:54{ <+^DuLceaTsIKa> iata park
}14:54{ <+^DuLceaTsIKa> el e evreu
}14:54{ * X sets mode: +l 126
}14:54{ <+^DuLceaTsIKa> si tzigan si tot la un lok
}14:55{ <DumiX_Nebunu> le urez la toti EVREII sa le ragaie Popa la cap :)))
}14:55{ <park> DumiX_Nebunu auzi we pituhule , elegeti cuvintele
}14:55{ * X sets mode: +l 125
}14:55{ <+^DuLceaTsIKa> lol
}14:55{ <park> sapa la tarani da nu internet
}14:55{ * park was kicked by |Capcaun (Metoda cu spirt in ureche ai incercat ? (bad words))
}14:55{ * |Capcaun sets mode: +b *!*@parc.users.undernet.org
}14:56{ <DumiX_Nebunu> Park esti un evreu sef
}14:56{ <DumiX_Nebunu> sau lingau sef
}14:56{ <DumiX_Nebunu> aici?
}14:56{ <+^DuLceaTsIKa> lol
}14:56{ <DumiX_Nebunu> Lingaii nu au voie aici Park
}14:57{ <+^DuLceaTsIKa> :)
}14:57{ <DumiX_Nebunu> park tu esti cel mai lingau dintre totii
}14:57{ <+^DuLceaTsIKa> taci bah` , ce nu vezi ca el nu e aici?
}14:57{ <DumiX_Nebunu> :))
}14:57{ <DumiX_Nebunu> a fugit
}14:57{ <DumiX_Nebunu> evreii se tireaza cel mai repede:))) :)

<+_birthday> stealth1804 cu ce te pot ajuta ?
<+The`Fear> :|
<+stealth1804> i'm so sorry, i can't understand spanish

«13:00:09 » <vadymash> !deop Giku NaRc0TiKa Iepuras|nu`s Absyntha`
«13:00:16 » <vadymash> plm
«13:00:18 » <vadymash> @
«13:00:18 » * X sets mode: +o vadymash
«13:00:20 » * vadymash sets mode: -ooo Giku Iepuras|nu`s NaRc0TiKa
«13:00:20 » * OpsMasteR sets mode: -o+b vadymash *!?Vadim@*.undernet.org
«13:00:20 » * vadymash was kicked by OpsMasteR (don't deop my friends, bud)

<iubitel17> ??????????????
* iubitel17 was kicked by Ulma (iubitel17, nu folosi majuscule pe #moldova)
* X sets mode: +l 148
* iubitel17 has joined #moldova
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* The`Fear -> om sa fii .. si vei fi respectat :)
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* X sets mode: +l 149
<iubitel17> si bai ma poti arunca
<The`Fear> =))
<iubitel17> sine te crezi?
<KpecTHbIu`> =))))))))
<The`Fear> iubitel17 :) vad ca nu esti cunoscut cu Mircu
<iubitel17> a?
<The`Fear> Ulma e un bot :)
* lenka`shefka is now known as _PyPs|KA_}{
<KpecTHbIu`> nu nu
* _Natalika_ has joined #moldova
<The`Fear> are grija de canal, incearca sa spui o prostie
<KpecTHbIu`> si cu voi Ulma eu o padruga
<The`Fear> sa vezi cum stai afara =)
<KpecTHbIu`> %))
* emre has joined #moldova
<The`Fear> =)))
<The`Fear> KpecTHbIu =))))
<KpecTHbIu`> iubitel17 hai vrei sa faci cunostinta cu Ulma?
* X sets mode: +l 151
* Eugeniu_M has quit IRC (Quit)
<KpecTHbIu`> ea vre da tu?
<KpecTHbIu`> %)
<iubitel17> da pentru si mo aruncat,ca nui plase numele?
<^DuLceaTsIKa> :P
* ralf25 has left #moldova
<KpecTHbIu`> ea vre sa vb cu tine
<KpecTHbIu`> %))
* LIUDA_19 has joined #moldova
<The`Fear> =)))
<KpecTHbIu`> iubitel17
<iubitel17> a?
<KpecTHbIu`> vre sa te bata
* X sets mode: +l 150
<iubitel17> da di si
<iubitel17> ?
<The`Fear> :)))
<KpecTHbIu`> ca vb nasharu
<KpecTHbIu`> %)
<The`Fear> ca meriti =)
<iubitel17> eu?????????/
* Ulma sets mode: +b *!*~iura@87.248.180.183
* iubitel17 was kicked by Ulma (Banned: Nu e nevoie sa tipi! (te-am prevenit sa nu folosesti majuscule))
<KpecTHbIu`> =)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
<The`Fear> =)))

[17:27] <@Iepurash`> !unban *!*@freakyutza.users.undernet.org snu ti vad animalo
[17:27] <@OpsMaster> Iepurash` FAILED: wey shiocan, tu shi chiar eshti chior nu vedzi ca nui nish un ban mlea =)

}14:37{ * Quits: [TurisT] (~TurisT@TurisT.users.undernet.org) (Quit: Ies de pe mirc Cu reason COLORAT, k shtiu s`a gasi vre`un *** care sa ma baneze:)) Care v`a reactiona dupa mine shtitzi k ii **** :)))
}14:37{ * Ulma sets mode: +b *!*TurisT@TurisT.users.undernet.org

<Igoriuss> va veni de 14 octombrie in Chisinau
* X sets mode: +l 146
<Daila19> :))))
<Igoriuss> mia promis ca imi va da =)
<Daila19> dc crezi asta?
<Igoriuss> ca mia promis: o sa facem dragoste
<Igoriuss> asa a spus
<Igoriuss> =)
<Daila19> ce-ti va da?
<Igoriuss> off
<Daila19> oooo
<Igoriuss> pearja
<Igoriuss> =))

- Здравствуйте, можно Вову?
- Вы не туда попали.
- А Васю?
- Всё равно, не туда.
- А Андрея?
- А куда вы звоните?
- Ээээ... я перезвоню.

<Gorev> |Lexus| eu tot is lamer nij nu stiu cei asta :D:D:D

Тока что на работе :
Новеникий Офицыант подходит к клиенту и принимает заказ потом подоидя ко мне спрашывает :
Он : У Нас Есть ВоткаНеРжы ???
Я : Чють под Бар не Провалился :)
(Клиент Вобшето заказал ВоткуШарк)
Интересно Какого Вкуса ВоткаНеРжы :)

09:27] <IuLicK> Shpion -> gaf gaf %)
[09:27] <@Shpion> IuLicK we ..si ai ajuit? tu si nu ma vezi
[09:27] <@Shpion> ?
[09:27] * X sets mode: +l 101
[09:27] <@Shpion> asa my dog

~03:25:01>> <Zaikaaaa> nica AKUM IMI VPSESK UNSGIILE SHI MANERVEDZ %)
~03:25:01>> * Zaikaaaa was kicked by |Capcaun (Te rugam sa scrii cu litere mici, in caz contrar NU vei mai putea intra pe canal!)
~03:25:02>> * Joins: Zaikaaaa (~Iuliana@MDGirl.users.undernet.org)
~03:25:03>> * Zaikaaaa was kicked by people (Nu este permis Caps, Dezactiveazati Caps Look pls .)
~03:25:03>> * Joins: Zaikaaaa (~Iuliana@MDGirl.users.undernet.org)
~03:25:03>> * Imke sets mode: +b *!*@MDGirl.users.undernet.org
~03:25:03>> * Zaikaaaa was kicked by Ulma (Zaikaaaa, nu folosi majuscule pe #moldova)
~03:25:03>> * Ulma sets mode: +mr

[01:39] * +chitz`chitz papa rontzy :))

[18:12:56] <GoguSpaniolu> auzi spunemi si mie cea mai tare echipa de fotbal de la voi din tara ???
[18:13:08] <finderr> la noi nu jioaka fotbal wai
[18:13:14] <MuMuShiKa_}{> parazitu` da ce iti faci asa griji pt me?:)
[18:13:16] <GoguSpaniolu> serios ?
[18:13:17] <finderr> la noi se jioaka in bunghi
[18:13:20] <finderr> da we
[18:13:27] <GoguSpaniolu> ce inseamna bunghi ?
[18:13:30] * RnB-GiRl is now known as Fabulous}{
[18:13:34] <finderr> este anual Cempionatu la Jiokuri in Bunghi

» 17:12:07pm « <+violaa> }{
» 17:12:23pm « <@Ma3aXuCT> violaa eu am prietena
» 17:12:25pm « <@Ma3aXuCT> :))
» 17:12:55pm « <AMORe}{> a si ei doua in cap pi a treia na so mai terpesti!!!!
» 17:12:57pm « <@[AntiVirus]> lol

[10:13] <finderr> la moldoveni shto ne deni, to praznik
[10:13] * X sets mode: +o Melchii
[10:13] <finderr> numa motiv dale sa imple piatza marii adunari

[14:49] * +NaRc0TiKa suilasi na batz shi sibilasi la magazin4ik s cumpete morojna!!!!!!;)) poki alll

Грузин в кассе: - Я хочу, билять, минэт.
-!!!???
- Тьфу, черт! Я хочу минять билэт.