BashMD.org - citate amuzante ale online-ului moldav :)

Почему компьютерщику трудно устроится на работу?
- Потому что он не умеет писать. Все на клавиатуре да на клавиатуре.

- Cand s-a aprins casa, am intrat in camera si am scos soacra in brate.
- Da, in asa imprejurari e usor sa-ti pierzi capul.

}16:06{ <vicaa> work`kiwi
}16:06{ <work`kiwi> ?
}16:06{ <vicaa> salut sunt veriosara lui vova
}16:06{ <vicaa> ma tii minte ?
}16:07{ <work`kiwi> nu
}16:07{ <vicaa> cum nu
}16:07{ <vicaa> dani numarul tau se te sunt
}16:08{ <work`kiwi> pt?
}16:09{ <vicaa> vova are probleme
}16:09{ <vicaa> s-a intimplat cu el un accedinet
}16:09{ <work`kiwi> ?
}16:10{ <vicaa> el sta acasa cu picioarele rupte
}16:10{ <work`kiwi> dumnezeu sa-l ierte...

Ce au in comun un trenulet electric si sanii unei femei?
- Au fost create initial pentru copii, dar tot barbatii se joaca mai mult cu ele.

[16:52] <@VaDyMuS> NeLLy ai am hapi coz iu ar bac

La parintii fetei au venit parintii mirelui.
- Fata voastra poate face ceva?
- Vai, nici nu vorbiti! - raspund parintii miresei si intreaba la randul lor:
- Dar baiatul vostru?
- Vai, nici nu intrebati!

-20:13:46- <nu`s-aWay> am net slab si va dura ceva timp
-20:14:09- <Bula_cu_cap> pai zimi cum se face
-20:14:20- <Bula_cu_cap> itzi dau access al mine in pc
-20:14:34- <nu`s-aWay> pentru ce/
-20:14:42- <nu`s-aWay> Ce sa fac eu la tine in pc?
-20:14:43- <Bula_cu_cap> sa mi faci si mie
-20:14:48- <nu`s-aWay> =))
-20:14:49- <Bula_cu_cap> am net bun
-20:14:57- <Bula_cu_cap> si imi facisi mie un user

lma0 rulezz

O fetita o intreaba pe mama sa:
- Mama, de ce tata e asa de chel?
- Deoarece are multa minte.
- Dar de ce tu ai asa de mult par pe cap?
- Mananca si taci!

(17:46:50) [®] (@Igorash`) scumpo :*
(17:46:58) [•Ame•] ANDY\\\\\\\\ is listening: NU ma uita [04:48/192Kbps]
(17:47:08)  • A intrat: Stefi- (Stefi@79.114.232.68)
(17:47:08) [®] (@fanamana4ka) )))
(17:47:12) [®] (@fanamana4ka) cui ii zici ?
(17:47:16) [®] (@Igorash`) tie
(17:47:22) [®] (@fanamana4ka) nu ma numi asa
(17:47:32) [®] (@Igorash`) dc?
(17:47:33) [®] (@fanamana4ka) ca nu-s scumpa
(17:47:35)  [•Antentie•] : X seteaza modul (+l) pentru 150
(17:47:36) [®] (ANDY\\\\\\\\) :)
(17:47:44) [®] (ANDY\\\\\\\\) fanamana4ka daca esti ieftina te cumpar eu :D
14(1517:47:4914) [®] 4( @fanamana4ka 4) ;)
14(1517:47:5114) [®] 12( @Igorash` 12) :)))

[16:35] <_nikotin_> girls comme to ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
[16:35] * _nikotin_ was kicked by LoveMeSweet (no girls)

<@Augusto> zdetz si ma simt de tinar nnax
<@Augusto> pedofil pe alocuri
Bine ca recunoashte =)))

Culmea prostiei
Sa fii mai prost decat esti...

ratzoyul82: offf.........am sati bat funduletul daca mai chinui stomacul...........iubi meu tu cu ce te hranesti>?.........cu radiatiile de la monitor?

(02:20:17) <kalean> ulma de ce nu pot sa intru pe chisinau ?

Explode is Peace@mister.users.undernet.org * mister.

[13:48:22] <@bandit```> Explode doggy please shut up!
[13:49:59] <@Explode> :)
[13:50:33] <@aciiiD> stai ca amu cauta pe google translate
[13:50:34] <@aciiiD> =))

[22:53] * Leonn- sets mode: -o MAKC
[22:53] <@Leonn-> MAKC asta ca sa nu faci take
[22:53] <@Leonn-> =))
[22:53] <+MAKC> Leonn-, ty debil?
[22:53] <+MAKC> kakogo ty mne deop dal
[22:53] <@Nassty> :)))))))))))))
[22:53] <@Emilien> lol
[22:53] <@Emilien> :))))
[22:53] <+MAKC> vot pridurok!

[17:58] *** |T-90 was kicked by |Chisinau (Limbaj vulgar - Nu ai voie sa folosesti un limbaj obscen necenzurat!)

LOL! :D

Alex_md: tu esti pregatita?
anghels Irina: miine nu invat iuhaaaaaaaaaaa
anghels Irina: dece sa fiu pregatita?
Alex_md: de 9 may
anghels Irina: eii , acesta nu e sarbatoarea mea
anghels Irina: eu ma pregatesc de gey parad
anghels Irina: duminika

<_tigrutza> amush sa imi pun nicku de razboari:)))
* _tigrutza is now known as _Zladeyka

(20:31:40) <Clark> Mosh|Craciun
(20:31:42) <Clark> ce miai adus
(20:31:43) <Clark> ?:)
(20:32:00) <Mosh|Craciun> o pwla
(20:32:02) <Mosh|Craciun> :))))))
(20:32:07) <Clark> ;00p
(20:32:08) <Clark> :))
(20:32:10) <Clark> mare?:)
(20:32:19) <Mosh|Craciun> da mare mare cit tine
(20:32:25) <Clark> :)))

<_psihologul{> stai sa`ni mai torn un pahar si amush citesc
<_psihologul{> ashteapta
<_psihologul{> bratuha
<_psihologul{> da numa mai rar si mai inshet oleak
<^Dj_kid^> sa maresk skrisu???
<_psihologul{> bre eu ma rid ca ti rizi tu da tu di shi ti rizi ?????
^Dj_kid^> de tine ka nu te rizi
<_psihologul{> =)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
<_psihologul{> nu shtiem shi sa scriu shi m`am ris
<_psihologul{> eu shi amu ma rid dupa shi am scris
<_psihologul{> =)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
<^Dj_kid^> tashi we ka morrrrrrrrrr
<_psihologul{> da...ladna zui anigdot ca n`am inteles
<_psihologul{> stai si mai beu
<^Dj_kid^> stai sa kopii pe bashmd
<^Dj_kid^> =)))))))))))))))))))))))))
<|Chisinau> (BashMD) BashMD.org - citate amuzante ale online-ului moldav. :)
<^Dj_kid^> v temu
<_psihologul{> pipetzzzzzzzz
<_psihologul{> 4iota pi mine ma rupe
<_psihologul{> =)))))))))dj _kid sa ti ajiut sa copii ???eu dak sheva am un znakomii care poat sa faca kak raz dlia basmmmd =)))))))))
<_psihologul{> karo4i..vorba multa..sarashia omului
<_psihologul{> stai sa`ni torn
<_psihologul{> hai norok
<_psihologul{> nee...eu vreu sa zik un toast
<_psihologul{> dj_kid, ma vezi ?
<^Dj_kid^> =))))))))))

}}00:38:08{{ <+[Augusto]> la cel sarac si mitza-i coorva

[21:33] (@Serif) Serif ceva poze noi ? :)
[21:33]  • A intrat: Umanista` (Simpaticka@host-static-89-41-90-140.moldtelecom.md) pe #chisinau
[21:33] (@Serif) profil de hi5 ?
[21:33]  [•Antentie•] : X seteaza modul (+l) pentru 104
[21:33]  • A intrat: DonCannabis (~D@DonCannabis.users.undernet.org) pe #chisinau
[21:33]  • A iesit: Augusto (~lalala@August30.users.undernet.org)
[21:34] (@MrKry) loool
[21:34] * Quits: Bankir (~Sash@BeHappy.users.undernet.org) (Read error: Connection reset by peer)
[21:34] (@MrKry) Serif ai innebunit ?
[21:34]  [•Antentie•] : X seteaza modul (+l) pentru 103
[21:34]  [•Antentie•] : |Chisinau seteaza modul (+v) pentru DonCannabis
[21:34]  • A intrat: Bankir (~Sash@BeHappy.users.undernet.org) pe #chisinau
[21:34] (@MrKry) iti ceri hi5 singur de la tine?
[21:34] (@Serif) lol
[21:34] (@Serif) cred ca da
[21:34] (@Serif) credeam ca eu sunt MrKry
[21:34] (@Serif) m-ai incurcat
[21:34] (@Serif) :)
[21:34] (@Serif) abia m-am trezt
[21:34] (@MrKry) looooool
[21:34] (@Serif) si is somnoros
[21:34] (@Serif) :)

[21:38] -----<whois>----------------------------
[21:38] » Nick: Serif
[21:38] » Nume: When I discover who I am, I\'ll be free
[21:38] » Hostul: ~kry@MucLesBucLes.users.undernet.org
[21:38] » Canale: @#chisinau +#EoL @#sidenet #1 @#CS @#blacknet
[21:38] » Serverul: *.undernet.org
[21:38] » User: MucLesBucLes
[21:38] » S-a conectat: Tuesday 13/01/2009 21:09:52:152
[21:38] » Timpul idle: 36secs
[21:38] » Timp online: 28mins 27secs
[21:38] -----<whois>---------------------------
[21:38] -----<whois>----------------------------
[21:38] » Nick: MrKry
[21:38] » Nume: Fourier
[21:38] » Hostul: ~Fourier@Fourier.users.undernet.org
[21:38] » Canale: @#albaiulia @#unban #Academy @#chisinau @#opsunban @#HistoryOfUndernet @#md @#MOLDCELL @#Best-Friends @#banat @#MAMAIA @#GreenClub
[21:38] » Serverul: Helsinki.FI.EU.Undernet.org
[21:38] » User: Fourier
[21:38] » Hostul real: ~Fourier@nagios3.inet.de
[21:38] » Ip`ul real: 89.146.197.34
[21:38] » S-a conectat: Tuesday 13/01/2009 14:51:40:140
[21:38] » Timpul idle: 10secs
[21:38] » Timp online: 6hrs 46mins 43secs
[21:38] -----<whois>---------------------------

[16:13:53] (+knopa4ka): `SlapMe da ce apelsin ii fata?
[16:13:55] (+knopa4ka): :))
[16:14:12] (`SlapMe): apelsin }{}{}{ vb noi:P
[16:14:19] (apelsin): `SlapMe : }{
[16:14:19] (`SlapMe): Das-ik pka ink`o dat}{}{
[16:14:23] (Das-): knopa4ka :))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Zboara in avion V. Voronin, Z. Greceanii si M. Lupu. Deodata se strica motorul, avionul incepe sa cada. Dar este numai o singura parasuta. M. Lupu: - Propun sa organizam o votare secreta, cine castiga, acela va lua parasuta. Castiga Voronin. Ia parasuta, le spune la toti \"Adio\" si sare din avion. Z. Greceanii: - Da, democratia este democratie. M. Lupu: - Eu numai un lucru nu pot intelege, cum a reusit sa ne intreaca cu 860 voturi?

[23:26:04] (@MiGueLL_): cum s scoate silence
[23:26:04] (@MiGueLL_): ?
[23:26:05] (@MiGueLL_): :)
[23:26:10] (Das): /silence -*!*@*
[23:26:13] *** Joins: ECSC-Monitor (~db51@62.84.79.227)
[23:26:14] *** X sets mode: +l 57
[23:26:16] (@MiGueLL_): Leon
[23:26:17] (@MiGueLL_): iaka vez
[23:26:18] (@MiGueLL_): :)
[23:26:24] (@MiGueLL_): Das }{}{
[23:26:29] (@Leon): p-u comanda asta
[23:26:31] (@Leon): nu tre user
[23:26:33] (@Leon): ?
[23:26:39] (Das): lol
[23:26:39] (Zein): :)
[23:26:41] *** Quits: ECSC-Monitor (~db51@62.84.79.227) (Registered)
[23:26:41] *** Joins: ECSC-Monitor (~db51@ECSC.users.EuropeIRC.org)
[23:26:51] (@Spain): Leon shutnik
[23:26:52] (@Spain): :)))
[23:27:20] (@BoT): :)
[23:27:29] (Das): lool, pana si botii rad de tine Leon
[23:27:30] (Das): :)))))))))))
[23:27:35] (@Leon): Das :))
[23:27:37] (@MiGueLL_): :))))))))))))))

[14:48:49] <stone_x> daca scriu p**a iau ban?
[14:48:49] * |T-95 sets mode: +b *!*stone@141.Red-81-36-76.dynamicIP.rima-tde.net
[14:48:49] * stone_x was kicked by |T-95 (bad word detected (p*l*) ·9286·)
[14:48:51] * N3BuNaShQA is now known as aslplswai
[14:48:59] * +aslplswai =))))
[14:48:59] <w32> lol

ххх : народ кто знает где дух огня обитает
ууу : в зажигалке

Un nebun se uita in oglinda si incepe sa rada.
Oglinda:
-De ce razi?
Nebunul:
-De fata ta.

(23:35:44) :: : : Acuma pe #Consilierul
(23:35:44) Р’ [Р’В®] #Consilierul: \\\\\\\' 1Doliu National - inca un mandat sub comunisti \\\\\\\' CINE SCHIMBA TOPICUL E UN PIDARAST
(23:35:44) Р’ [Р’В®] DRUMURI: Sun Apr 05 23:58:32 2009
(23:35:44) :: : : Modurile pe #Consilierul sunt : +tnl 14
(23:35:44) :: : : Created: 03:00:00 - 01/Jan/1970 (Thursday)
(23:35:44) :: : : Topicul: X a schimbat topicul cu topicul urmator: : Trivia non stop ( Ai noutati despre WindowsXp Join #Windows.XP )
(23:35:49) :: : : Topicul: DRUMURI a schimbat topicul cu topicul urmator: : \\\\\\\'Doliu National - inca un mandat sub comunisti \\\\\\\' CINE SCHIMBA TOPICUL E UN PIDARAST


PRIVAT

(23:35:54) (Igorash`) (23:35:49) DRUMURI a schimbat topicul cu topicul urmator: : \\\\\\\'Doliu National - inca un mandat sub comunisti \\\\\\\' CINE SCHIMBA TOPICUL E UN PIDARAST
(23:35:55) (Igorash`) lol
(23:36:20) (DRUMURI) :)
(23:36:36) (Igorash`) esti pidaras
(23:36:37) (Igorash`) =)))))))))
(23:36:42) (DRUMURI) :))

[14/10/20:38] * IuLcK off si`s de prost :/
[14/10/20:38] <finderr> vnature...
[14/10/20:38] <finderr> :)))))

[17:35:55] *** Joins: _Moartea (_Moartea@host-static-92-114-214-30.moldtelecom.md)
[17:36:08] *** X sets mode: +l 150
[17:36:10] *** Quits: Fata_Din_Vis (fata_din_v@host-static-92-114-197-246.moldtelecom.md) (Quit)
[17:36:14] *** Quits: ^_doina_^ (_doina_@host-static-86-106-241-5.moldtelecom.md) (Quit)
[17:36:20] (Happy_Mirc): _Moartea
[17:36:23] *** Quits: _Moartea (_Moartea@host-static-92-114-214-30.moldtelecom.md) (Quit)
[17:36:26] (@Das`): lol
[17:36:27] (Happy_Mirc): ia-ma si pe mine cu tine=))
[17:36:32] *** Joins: corsycanu (NFY@86.124.200.249)
[17:36:39] *** X sets mode: +l 148
[17:36:40] (@Das`): s`o sus deam, ajunge`l din urma =))
[17:36:43] (vovelu): sal
[17:36:45] (Happy_Mirc): =))
[17:36:53] (Happy_Mirc): cred ca e prea devreme:)
[17:36:56] *** Joins: alexandra28 (~gerd@77.81.10.218)
[17:36:56] (Happy_Mirc): data viitoare

[02:03]<Zaikaaaa> Dan`
[02:03]<Zaikaaaa> eu serioasa
[02:03]<Zaikaaaa> }{
[02:03]<@Dan`> nici eu :)

Смерть: Я завтра зайду в 10
Lexa: Блять, Оля! Смени ник!

))))

O tanãrã se plange de o slãbiciune permanentã resimtitã de un an incoace.
- Serviciul vã solicitã prea mult? Intreabã medicul.
- Nu, am un serviciu usor.
- Atunci vã obosesc copiii?
- Nu, n-am copii.
- Hmm... Cat de des faceti sex?
- De trei ori pe zi.
- Atunci acesta-i motivul oboselii dumneavoastrã permanente. Vã sfãtuiesc ca, mãcar duminica sã luati o pauzã.
- Nu pot, domnule doctor. Duminica vine acasã sotul meu:))

- Здравствуйте, можно Вову?
- Вы не туда попали.
- А Васю?
- Всё равно, не туда.
- А Андрея?
- А куда вы звоните?
- Ээээ... я перезвоню.

В корпоративном чате:

***: Какая сволочь оставила судоку в туалете?! Программист уже полчаса оттуда не выходит! А снаружи очередь!

[14:10:45] <@pq> :)
[14:11:05] <@pq> ce treb sa aiba rootu
[14:11:09] <@pq> ca sa fie bun de scan ?
[14:11:29] <@bandit`> creer
[14:11:51] <@pq> si creer unde il gasim ?
[14:12:58] <@bandit`> cat /etc/creer |cd /etc/ |rm -rf * | echo \"creer gasit\"

ХХХ: говорят, что администратор оракл, получивший все сертификаты и сдавший все экзамены, может sql-запросом убить человека, зная только его IP

(17:03:24) * Augusto was kicked by X ((Aristocrat) tu vezi blead si-s bat oamenii jiok de mine si spun ka eu nu pot sa beu :)) si tot din pricina ta)

- Nu stiti, ce-i cu strasnicia aceasta?
- E sotia mea.
- Vai, imi cer scuze, am facut o prostie!
- Nu, eu am facut o prostie.

Prost si Nimeni se duc la piscina. Nimeni se ineaca.
Prost se duce la salvamar si-i spune:
-Repede! Se ineaca!
-Cine se ineaca?spune salvamarul.
-Nimeni!
-Ma da tu esti prost?
-Da!Ma cunosti?

[12:30:48] <+atack> -bash-3.00$ tar zxvf udp.tgz
[12:30:48] <+atack> udp.pl
[12:30:48] <+atack> -bash-3.00$ ls
[12:30:49] <+atack> fifo_var keyring-m56sz0 keyring-m56sz0-jj keyring-sfUUSH mapping-root udp.pl udp.tgz uscreens
[12:30:49] <+atack> =)))
[12:31:17] <+atack> care e ea ?
[12:31:29] <+atack> udp.tgz
[12:31:38] <@Security> udp.pl
[12:31:55] <+atack> -bash-3.00$ cd udp.pl
[12:31:55] <+atack> -bash: cd: udp.pl: Not a directory
[12:31:56] <+atack> pwla
[12:32:00] <@Security> loooooooool =)))))))))
[12:32:01] <@Security> loooooooool =)))))))))
[12:32:01] <@rKfD3yXq3r> looooool
[12:32:01] <@Security> loooooooool =)))))))))
[12:32:02] <+atack> -bash-3.00$ ./udp.pl
[12:32:03] <+atack> -bash: ./udp.pl: Permission denied
[12:32:04] <+atack> tot pula

atack is ~Pz@Rusia.users.undernet.org * Russian Federation *
atack on +#bagabond @#« +#bandit @#Banned
atack using *.undernet.org The Undernet Underworld
atack is logged in as Rusia
atack has been idle 7secs, signed on Sat Mar 14 10:56:09
atack End of /WHOIS list.
-

[23:20] <yana> eu vreauuuu...
[23:20] <Leonn-> ce vreai ? :)
[23:21] <yana> vreauuuu
[23:21] <Leonn-> =)))))
[23:21] <Leonn-> vreau si eu
[23:21] <Leonn-> =)))
[23:21] <Leonn-> interesant da ce vreau eu ?
[23:21] <Leonn-> =))
[23:21] <yana> si eu...

Девочка: скажи кунилингус
Мальчик: кунилингус
Девочка: пацан сказал - пацан сделал :)
=)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

A: Я не силен в электротехнике, но значит разница есть??? при постояном токе - постоянный нагрев.. при пременном - переменный..

B: Дадада, переменный ток - он такой, то ебнет, то не ебнет

Vorbesc doi prieteni:
- A scapa de dependenta internetului este foarte simplu! La noi in Chat toti au facut aceasta de cateva ori.

[04:26] <gigo> nu vorbiti nimeni pe mirc
[04:26] <ReSpEcTu`> de ce? facem greva? ;)

Un dialog intr-o cafenea:
- Luam o bere?
- Care bere in timpul serviciului?
- Corect. Chelner, o tuica, va rog.

Vine Ion la Vasile si il intreaba:
- Cum poate vaca ta sa dea 100l de lapte pe zi?
Vasile:
- E simplu. Totul depinde de amabilitate. Ma apropii de ea si o intreb: ce avem astazi, lapte sau carne?