BashMD.org - citate amuzante ale online-ului moldav :)

<TheOC> wee ploua in ch??????
<amo-te> nu cred
<TheOC> eu nujtiu
<TheOC> ia uitatsiva pe fereastra cinev!!
<amo-te> sa se uite
<amo-te> ca eu is di la tara
<amo-te> eu mulg vaca si nam cand sa ma uit pi geamuri
<TheOC> =)))
<TheOC> kool
<amo-te> mai am o titza
<amo-te> sapi am sati spun daca ploua
<TheOC> =)))



<amo-te> TheOC definitiv nu ploua

<amo-te> eaca am iesit din ocol am luat si caldarea da nu ploua
<TheOC> =))

Manjeru Ionutz: bleaaa
Manjeru Ionutz: shi mam praiebit))))))))))
Manjeru Ionutz: graiem cu Cristina
Manjeru Ionutz: sh iam futut o beshina )))
Manjeru Ionutz: am pus trubka ska )))
Manjeru Ionutz: ggggggggg


pe mess un pasajir :D

El si ea in pat. Ea:
- Crezi ca iubirea poate fi vesnica?
- Desigur. Numai partenerii se schimba.
:PP

Cele 7 minuni ale comunismului
1.Toata lumea avea de lucru.
2.Desi toata lumea avea de lucru, nimeni nu muncea.
3.Desi nimeni nu muncea, planul se facea peste 100%.
4.Desi planul se facea peste 100%, nu puteai cumpara nimic.
5.Desi nu gaseai nimic de cumparat, toata lumea avea de toate.
6.Desi toata lumea avea de toate, toti furau.
7.Desi toti furau, niciodata nu lipsea nimic.

$$ Максим $$
miine dupa a doua lectie te duci?

✩ N!¢u ✩
nu

$$ Максим $$
da Ion se duce?

✩ N!¢u ✩
el da

$$ Максим $$
da shtii unde?

✩ N!¢u ✩
stiu :-)

$$ Максим $$
unde?

✩ N!¢u ✩
nahui

Vara... caldura mare... pe o terasa apare o domnisoara frumusica, moldoveanca, pe care imediat chelnerul amabil o intreaba daca doreste o bautura racoritoare:
-TUTTI FRESH..?
-SPERI MATA, DAR SPERI DIGEABA....

[14/10/20:38] * IuLcK off si`s de prost :/
[14/10/20:38] <finderr> vnature...
[14/10/20:38] <finderr> :)))))

Bitzy Bitzyyy: Vand magar
porneste la comanda "Die fututi Soarele matii" An de fabricatie 2004
Culoare : gri-argintiu
Consum : doi saci de fan pe zi si o galeata de apa
Urechi reglabile
Claxon ( iii-haaaa )
Viteza maxima : 10 km pe ora,depinde de drum
Frana cu impamantare
Pret : negociabil rog seriozitate ....


uite asa.. se vind si astia :P

[19:53:08] <`VaVaN> ce flaguri ai la Ulma- >?
[19:53:12] <ONYX`> 2
[19:53:19] <ONYX`> a moldovei shi a greciei
[19:53:20] <ONYX`> :))

[00:07:07] * tigan_stilat mai am 100 de flotari


[00:07:33] * tigan_stilat incurajati-ma....mai am 100

[00:11:13] * tigan_stilat mai am 80 de flotari....m-au lasat mainile la 15 si 18 din seria de 20 da m-am ridicat si le-am terminat

[00:13:06] * tigan_stilat incurajati-ma!

[00:32:34] * tigan_stilat mai am 80-23=57 de flotari :X

[00:33:09] * tigan_stilat ma doare capul dar nu ma las....voi face flotari!

[14:49] * +NaRc0TiKa suilasi na batz shi sibilasi la magazin4ik s cumpete morojna!!!!!!;)) poki alll

crys_1990: cristi_ro: cum alimentez laptop-ul? direct din priza.?
PAPU: da
PAPU: tai mufa de la transformator belesti firele si le bagi in priza
cristi_ro: pai aici zice de 12 volt
PAPU: e vrajala ma daca bagi direct la priza merge mai repede
cristi_ro: k
cristi_ro: asteapta
PAPU: baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa am glumit tampitule nu baga
PAPU: baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa am glumit tampitule nu baga
cristi_ro: BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA A IESIT FUM DIN EL CE MORTII MATII MIAI
FACUT
cristi_ro: BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
cristi_ro: BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
cristi_ro: ba cretinule nu era al meu dobitocule ce mortii matii ma fac acum
este negru tot
PAPU: ahhahahahahahahahhhhhhhhhhhhhhahahahahahaha........ce terminat a ars
laptopu

Un reporter de fotbal:
- Un atac din stanga! Lovitura cu capul - bara! Sare innapoi! Inca o lovitura! Iarasi bara! Va fi si a treia lovitura? Nu, jucatorul a pierdut cunostinta, ce vreti, bara e de fier...

<diana4ka> da iaca ma zacalibesc la lucru ista.....
<`Legionnaire> da vapse si lucrezi tu?
<diana4ka> amu la un magazin
<`Legionnaire> ahranik?
<diana4ka> toshina :D
<`Legionnaire> vezi s nu vina hotzii sati fure shi kilotzii...

O tipa frumoasa sta la portile unei unitati militare cu lacrimi in ochi.
- Ce, ti-au luat mirele in armata? - intreaba un tip.
- Da... Si inca pe toti cinci odata...

Un concert. Chitaristul se întoarce către basist:
- Ce cântăm?
Basistul:
- „I love you”.
Chitaristul:
- I love you tou. Totuşi ce cântăm?

Tatal nostru care ne esti in retea,
Sfinteasca-se serverul Tau,
Repara-se modemul Tau,
Precum offline asa si online,
Internetul nostru cel bun care e noaptea,
Da-ni-l noua ziua,
Si ne iarta noua adresele prost scrise,
Precum si noi ii iertam pe cei care ne trimit popusuri enervante,
Si nu ne duce pe noi in adresele pirat,
Si ne izbavestre de virusi,
Ca-al Tau este Internetul,
Serverul,
Si modemul (doar ca folosesc mult cuvantul modem asta nu inseamna ca eu nu am Internet prin cablu).
Alt+F4...........(Internetul e sfant)..........

[09:50:33] * IrcOP (~X@MLD.users.undernet.org) has joined #chisinau
[09:50:36] * |_DiMaX_| (~dimax_man@dimaxman.users.undernet.org) Quit (Ping timeout)
[09:51:13] <IrcOP> ia ibbu :))) nam ban =)))))))))
[09:51:16] *** IrcOP is ~X@MLD.users.undernet.org
[09:51:16] *** IrcOP is «FuLLC0nTr0L ®»
[09:51:16] *** IrcOP on *.undernet.org
[09:51:16] *** IrcOP MLD is logged in as
[09:51:16] *** IrcOP on #chisinau, @#zh, @#faces, @#hummer, @#mirk, @#robot, @#speed, @#rec
[09:51:22] <@vano> !bw IrcOP
[09:51:23] * |r0b0t sets mode: +b *!~X@MLD.users.undernet.org
[09:51:23] *** [#chisinau] Banned- IrcOP
[09:51:23] * IrcOP was kicked by X ((SR) (vano) bad word/offence. NU ai voie sa folosesti un limbaj obscen, necenzurat!)
[09:51:26] <@vano> ne vapros
[09:51:28] <@vano> :))

[19:04:22] <naughty_boy> Zeobra
[19:04:23] <naughty_boy> wai
[19:04:28] <naughty_boy> da tu shi nick
[19:04:30] <Zeobra> naughty_boy shi tzygane
[19:04:31] <Zeobra> :))))))))
[19:04:33] <naughty_boy> ai avut mai inainte
[19:04:33] <naughty_boy> ?
[19:04:45] <Zeobra> naughty_boy nick Aleeni :))))))

[20:08:39] * Parts: park (~park@parc.users.undernet.org) (Artur сосать :P)

Vine sotul tarziu acasa, sotia nu-i da drumul. El ii spune:
- Am adus flori pentru cea mai frumoasa femeie din lume!
Sotia deschide usa si intreaba:
- Unde sunt florile?
- Dar unde e cea mai frumoasa femeie?

Jan 08 11:34:23 <Slavic> eu ma numesc vadim

<aripa> sarutateass
<arriana> unde:))
<aripa> atunci lobu de la urechee
<aripa> si pe umnar
<arriana> sunt baiat
<arriana> mai vrei?:)))
<aripa> scuzeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
<arriana> :))))))
<aripa> te rog scuiza
<arriana> ripo ce gata?
<arriana> aripo
<aripa> daa
<arriana> sigur?:)
<aripa> sigurrrrr
sunt f;)

Sotia spala podeaua. Sotul citeste o revista in fotoliu. Sotia ii spune:
- Ridica picioarele, sa spal podeaua.
- Fara ajutorul meu nici podeaua nu poti spala.

<MuZiKaNt> sal
<dashka> sal
<MuZiKaNt> asl
<MuZiKaNt> :)
<MuZiKaNt> pls
<dashka> 20, chisinau, 1,70
<dashka> u?
<MuZiKaNt> 1,70
<dashka> tu?
<MuZiKaNt> :))
<MuZiKaNt> da kg?
<MuZiKaNt> :)))))))))
<dashka> 57
<MuZiKaNt> mmm
<dashka> asa ceva
<dashka> tu?
<MuZiKaNt> da marimea sinilor?

(11:12:52) (@Indubitabil) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fVxa72cC6zc
(11:12:58) (@Indubitabil) vano` ia uite
(11:12:59) (@Indubitabil) :-D
(11:13:01) (@Das`) kry salut =)
(11:13:03) (@vano`) Indubitabil sh sii cu linku ista ?
(11:13:10) (@Indubitabil) vano` e virusat
(11:13:14) (@Das`) lol
(11:13:15) (@vano`) cine ?
(11:13:20) (@Das`) Vaneaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa nu intra
(11:13:22) (@Das`) e virus
(11:13:22) (@Das`) :D
(11:13:26) (@Indubitabil) :-))
(11:13:46) (@vano`) Das` da las sa shie .. ca nie nii po barabanu ..
(11:13:52) (@vano`) Das` dau un restart sh so dus virusu lui pe pleasha
(11:13:58)  • A intrat: m24ch (~singur_ac@host-static-93-116-234-13.moldtelecom.md) pe #chisinau
(11:14:00) (@Das`) )
(11:14:01) (@Indubitabil) LoL :)))

<zdutzu> te-ai bashit?te-ai plictisit? trage o bashina
<zdutzu> plictiseala persista?
<zdutzu> caca-te pe tine
<zdutzu> si o sa vezi ca vei scapa de plictiseala
<zdutzu> un mare filosof a spus aceste cuvinte magic si alese te-ai bashit?te-ai plictisit? trage o bashina

Inainte de casatorie:
EA: Poate ar trebui sa plec?
EL: Nu, nici sa nu te gindesti!
EA: Ma iubesti?
EL: Sigur!
EA: M-ai inselat vreodata?
EL: Nu, cum de ti-a venit asa ceva prin minte?
EA: Ma vei saruta?
EL: Da, sigur!
EA: Ma vei bate?
EL: Nici intr-un caz!
EA: Pot sa te cred? :P
Dupa casatorie: cititi de jos in sus !!!

Sotul, sotia, copiii si soacra stau intr-o cafenea. Sotul:
- Ei? Pentru noi cate o bere si o portocala. Pentru copii - ciocolata.
Sotia:
- Dar pentru mama?
- Pentru mama - un pahar cu lapte si pepene!

На исповеди.
- Отец мой, я согрешила - назвала одного молодого человека *сукин сын*.
- Что заставило тебя так его назвать, дочь моя?
- Он без моего разрешения дотронулся до моей руки.
- Вот так? (дотрагивается до ее руки)
- Да, отец мой.
- Но это не повод называть его сукин сын.
- Но после этого он раздел меня.
- Так? - раздевает ее
- Да, отец мой.
- Но это не повод называть его сукин сын.
- Но после этого он засунул сами знаете что сами знаете куда.
- Так?
- Да, отец мой
- Но это не повод называть его сукин сын.
- Но, святой отец, у него сифилис!
- Вот сукин сын!!!

Se duce Bula cu varu-su la furat de pepeni.
Varul sau statea de paza iar Bula fura. Deodata, varul lui Bula vede paznicu care se indrepta spre ei. Agitat striga la Bula:
- Bula, Bula!!! Sase(6), sase(6) vine paznicu!!!
La care Bula bulversat:
-Nu pot decat cinci(5), sa moara mama!

[10:40] <Its`The`Fear> [10:39] * Joins: Likeable (Likeable@nu.ma.suparati.ca.fac.net-split.com)
[10:40] <Its`The`Fear> =))
[10:40] <@^DuLceaTsIKa> :))
[10:40] <Its`The`Fear> Lamer[10:40] <Its`The`Fear> :))
[10:40] <Likeable> yes
[10:40] <Likeable> :))

[23:20] <yana> eu vreauuuu...
[23:20] <Leonn-> ce vreai ? :)
[23:21] <yana> vreauuuu
[23:21] <Leonn-> =)))))
[23:21] <Leonn-> vreau si eu
[23:21] <Leonn-> =)))
[23:21] <Leonn-> interesant da ce vreau eu ?
[23:21] <Leonn-> =))
[23:21] <yana> si eu...

(23:58:49) <+spiridush`> Vipera75 da in ro ce inseamna poponar
(23:58:50) * spiridush` was kicked by |GogoashaBro (Metoda cu spirt in ureche ai incercat ? (bad words))
(23:58:51) * spiridush` (~dulceatza@Dulceatsa.users.undernet.org) has joined #moldova
(23:58:52) * |GogoashaBro sets mode: +b *!*@Dulceatsa.users.undernet.org
(23:58:52) *** [#moldova] Banned- spiridush`
(23:58:52) * |GogoashaBro sets mode: -bb *!*@77.87.89.41 *!*@*.airbites.ro
(23:58:53) * spiridush` was kicked by |GogoashaBro (Banned: Metoda cu spirt in ureche ai incercat ? (bad words))
(23:59:01) <Vipera75> poponar=curist
(23:59:01) * Vipera75 was kicked by |GogoashaBro (Metoda cu spirt in ureche ai incercat ? (bad words))
(23:59:01) * |Capcaun sets mode: +b *!*@86.127.20.1
:)

Doua blonde calatoresc cu trenul.
In compartiment calatoreste cu ele un barbat mai in varsta, cu barba.
Sopteste una la alta:
- Uita-te! Asta-i Mircea cel Batran...
- Esti proasta. El e mort de vreo 6-700 de ani.
In acel moment intra un alt barbat in compartiment, si-l saluta pe barbos:
- Ciao, Mircea, ce faci, batrine! nu te-am mai vazut de sute de ani....
Prima blonda:
- Na, cine-i proasta?

<Dianusca> ok
<Dianusca> esti muzicant?
<MuZiKaNt> aha
<Dianusca> ce anume faci?
<MuZiKaNt> kint la tzitze de fata mare
<Dianusca> tzitze?
<MuZiKaNt> da
<Dianusca> cei asta?
<MuZiKaNt> shtii shi sunete provoaka kind pui mina pe ele
<Dianusca> nustiu
<MuZiKaNt> deam nu eshti fata mare sau shi???????????
<Dianusca> :)
<MuZiKaNt> ap shi tu eshti sau nu eshti fata mare?
<Dianusca> eu sint mijlocie

[01:11:11] <+bandit> Akiles alun` e in blacklist la toate Face Control la orice Frizerie :-\"
[01:11:36] <Akiles> o zis ca pe Ben Laden nul prinesc acolo :)))))))))))))))
[01:12:05] <+_GLADIATOR_> bandit hehehehhehehehhehe
[01:12:08] <+bandit> buhhaha
[01:12:09] <+bandit> :))
[01:12:16] <+bandit> alun` ii Bin Laden 2
[01:12:16] <+bandit> =))
[01:12:40] <Akiles> el cu cucuruznicu vree sa dee in piatsa centrala :))))))))))))))
[01:12:43] <+_GLADIATOR_> o sa mor amush .. gata la fuat ca nu mai ajung
[01:12:45] <+_GLADIATOR_> :))))))))
[01:12:51] <Akiles> da so razgandit si so indreptat spre bar strelka :)))))))))))))))
[01:14:25] <+bandit> amuj il fashim super terror star
[01:14:27] <+bandit> pe alun`
[01:14:29] <+bandit> anostru
[01:14:30] <+bandit> :)
[01:15:11] <Akiles> nee, ma tem s nu ma trezesc cu-n cucuruznik pe antena :))))))))

[17:17:59] (vtf): MySpace, si bai n-ai incredere in Apelsin4ik?
[17:18:00] (vtf): ai ai ai!
[17:18:03] (vtf): Rusine-eee!
[17:18:05] (MySpace): lol
[17:18:59] (vtf): Apelsin4ik, vez bai? ati fumat dintr-o tigara, ati baut dintr-un pahar si el acuma nu are incredere-n tine! :((((
[17:19:27] *** Quits: Apelsin4ik (apelsin@Apelsin4ik.users.undernet.org) (Read error: Connection reset by peer)
[17:19:33] (MySpace): vtf lai speriat :)
[17:19:47] (vtf): MySpace, poh =)

[14:37] <+The`Fear> care Jita ma chemat =) =)
[14:37] <@Sanioc`> euuuuuuuuu:)
[14:37] <@Sanioc`> :)
[14:37] <+The`Fear> :))
[14:37] <+The`Fear> bine ca ti priznaesti
[14:37] <+The`Fear> :D

<+ProFox> este aici vreo ghevushka care nare ce face sa mai vb ca nii skufna.. ?
<+Apelsin4ik deadinika, deadinkia.. a mojno ea :D

Лето. Жара. Пляж. По пляжу идет парень и смотрит на загорающих девушек.
- Это не Париж.
Около второй:
- И это не Париж.
Возле третьей:
- А уж это совсем не Париж!
Та встает, подходит к нему, оттягивает резинку плавок, заглядывает и говорит:
- И ты на эту антенну хочешь Париж поймать?

[00:39] »BercuJuVaeru« ai have root to scan
[00:39] »BercuJuVaeru« you have root for boti
[00:39] »BercuJuVaeru« ?
[00:39] »FzR« Dar de ce te chinuie talentu sa vorbesti in engleza ?
[00:39] »BercuJuVaeru« Razz
[00:39] »BercuJuVaeru« zi ma
[00:39] »BercuJuVaeru« ai
[00:39] »BercuJuVaeru« ?
[00:40] »FzR« am
[00:40] »BercuJuVaeru« si cum facem
[00:40] »BercuJuVaeru« ati dau root
[00:40] »BercuJuVaeru« de scan
[00:40] »BercuJuVaeru« ca eu am gil..
[00:40] »BercuJuVaeru« la boti
[00:40] »FzR« hai da root
[00:40] »FzR« de scan
[00:40] »FzR« dar sa ai login root
[00:41] »BercuJuVaeru« ce ai ma’
[00:41] »BercuJuVaeru« te doare capu
[00:41] »BercuJuVaeru« eu nu dau primu
[00:42] »FzR« ok !
[00:42] »FzR« auzi
[00:42] »FzR« dar rot dala de fmm ai ?
[00:45] »FzR« ai sau nu ?
[00:46] »FzR« ai frate root de FFM ?
[00:46] »BercuJuVaeru« da
[00:46] »BercuJuVaeru« ma
[00:46] »BercuJuVaeru« da dai un root
[00:46] »BercuJuVaeru« sa radic boti
[00:46] »FzR« pai am numai dalea de FFM
[00:46] »BercuJuVaeru« si ati dau frate
[00:46] »FzR« stii sa folosesti FFM
[00:46] »FzR« ?

=)

}20:12{ <_sweeper_> tzyntirimskaia tishina
:)))))))))))))

[22/07 @ 01:16:16] <UnInviteD-> balenusha :D hai suckksex tie
[22/07 @ 01:16:25] <balenusha> kkiar am nevoie
[22/07 @ 01:16:25] <balenusha> ms

«13:00:09 » <vadymash> !deop Giku NaRc0TiKa Iepuras|nu`s Absyntha`
«13:00:16 » <vadymash> plm
«13:00:18 » <vadymash> @
«13:00:18 » * X sets mode: +o vadymash
«13:00:20 » * vadymash sets mode: -ooo Giku Iepuras|nu`s NaRc0TiKa
«13:00:20 » * OpsMasteR sets mode: -o+b vadymash *!?Vadim@*.undernet.org
«13:00:20 » * vadymash was kicked by OpsMasteR (don't deop my friends, bud)

* DasN2wqfu8\\t (~Das@Das.users.undernet.org) has joined #moldova
* X sets mode: +b *!*das@*
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* Ulma sets mode: -b *!*das@*
* X sets mode: +l 150
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* Imke sets mode: -b *!*das@*
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* Imke sets mode: -b *!*das@*
=)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
ce fain :X =))

(19:33:38) <looking-> Hriki ia scire asa /quit eu is lam0 <---- tre sa-ti apara un tabel si imi dai mie ce scrie acolo
-
Hriki is ~Hriki@host-static-109-185-49-144.moldtelecom.md * FSF
Hriki on #moldova #chisinau
Hriki using *.undernet.org The Undernet Underworld
Hriki has been idle 1min 12secs, signed on Wed Jan 20 19:20:08
Hriki End of /WHOIS list.
-
(19:34:48) * Quits: Hriki (~Hriki@host-static-109-185-49-144.moldtelecom.md) (Quit: eu is lam0 <----)
(19:34:55) <looking-> =)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

[15:14:36] (+Urs): vin la cluj, te iau de cap si ti-l bag in cur
[15:14:43] (+Urs): sa faci tumbe cand mergi
[15:14:44] (+Urs): <3
[15:15:00] (@kry): Urs - am mai vazut eu curajosi din astia ...
[15:15:06] (@kry): dar curajosi virgini mai rar :)
[15:15:10] (+Das`): lol
[15:15:10] (+Urs): :))
[15:15:13] (+Urs): ce sa fac frateeeeeeeeeee
[15:15:16] (+Urs): daca sunt gayy
[15:15:21] (+Urs): nu ma accepta nimeni

[15:20] <It`s_Fear> noroc
[15:20] <It`s_Fear> frumos nick ai =)
[15:20] <[lamer]> stiu
[15:20] <It`s_Fear> di ce asa nik?
[15:21] <[lamer]> asa trebuie
[15:21] <It`s_Fear> ca ejti Lamer?
[15:21] <[lamer]> da
[15:21] <It`s_Fear> ok :)

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[nick]14 [lamer] [real name]14 Aish
[address]14 ~Aish@host-86-106-226-23.moldtelecom.md
[channels]14 #chisinau #cahul
[server]14 *.undernet.org [network]14 The Undernet Underworld
[idle]14 49secs [signed on @]14 09/12/07 4:15p

@dracOaSa` la multi ani tuturor indragostitilor ... la multi ani prostul meu... te iubesc da-te in gatu matii :(((((((((((( la multi ani oameni infecti care sugeti pe la colturi barfe proaste de altii ;)
@Anonim : tu ce esti fa ?